A HANDBOOK FOR LIFE MANAGEMENT

As a prelude to this book, allow me to share with you, my dear readers, some of my real-life experiences that inspired me to write “A Handbook for Life Management.”

As a routine practice, I was taking a tour around the campus after class hours. The majority of the students departed the college; however, some of them were preparing vigorously for a cultural event. Quite a few students were engrossed in different games. A few were in the gym with the hope of building a strong body. Everyone seemed to be pleased and cheerful. However, I noticed two students sitting in one of the kiosks. One appears to be consoling the other while the other appears to be putting his head down. I went up to them and enquired about the matter. I could notice that one of them was in tears. I requested the boy who was in distress to come to my office for a friendly interaction. I enquired about the reason for his difficulty. He began to express his grief. “Sir, I’m depressed,” he admitted.  I have been suffering from stress and depression for a pretty long time. I’m not in the mood to return home. Because there is a lot of fighting in the household. My sister fell into bad relationships and dropped out of school.” “I’m addicted to smoking and drinking,” he continued. “I’m addicted to the internet as well. They all began as stress relievers, but they’ve since seized control of my life. I can’t focus on anything. I am in desperate need of assistance. I don’t know which direction to go.”

When I was in a counselling session, a young girl told me about her horrific experience of having to have surgery to abort the baby she had with her boyfriend as a result of her premarital affair. Furthermore, her boyfriend later dumped her.

I once led a session for a group of 80 students ranging in age from 20 to 24. It was a two-day animation programme that focused primarily on life skills. At the start of the programme, I handed everyone a piece of paper and asked them to write down some issues that I could discuss with them the next day. The majority of them wrote about relationships, the genuine meaning of love, meaningful sexuality, preparing for successful family life, and coping with work demands and depression.

Occasionally, I have one-on-one interactions with students who struggle academically, have failed, and are usually missing from regular campus life. The personal chats with these young people revealed that the vast majority of them, in reality, confront lots of issues in their lives. Some even underwent unexpected traumatic experiences that they constantly struggle to overcome. Some have invited trouble into their lives as a result of a lack of focus, broken relationships, and various addictions. Some are emotionally battered due to several teething troubles at home. I have also come across broadminded, happy and dynamic young people who are troubled and deeply concerned about various societal issues and depravity around them. I could go on recounting how individuals are beleaguered with innumerable challenges and difficulties in their lives.

Though we are living in a fast-track world due to gargantuan progress in science and technology and a quantum leap in modern means of communication, which have made individuals’ lives cosy and comfortable, there is also an equally mammoth growth in increased incidences of dehumanisation and alienation, as well as self-centric attitude. We also frequently witness situations in which a large number of people succumb to a variety of negative impulses and reject the concept of evil. However, the consolation is that a significant number of people genuinely want to live a life based on sound ethical values and morality. On the one hand, moral ideals are upheld, while ethical principles are compromised in some cases. Individual lives are completely derelict when they adhere to the attitude of “eat, sleep, and make merry” or “I can do whatever I want as long as someone doesn’t get in the way.” In the long run, these attitudes create voids in a person’s life, and to fill these abysses, eventually s/he buckles under various manipulative tendencies.

The primary objective of scripting this manuscript is to provide an overview of some of the trials that young and old people face and to offer some practical solutions. In this book, I’m just playing the role of a mentor, passing on a few insights I have gleaned from years of working with teenagers and early adults. The practical guidelines and recommendations furnished here will assist individuals to make wise and informed decisions in life-changing situations and to deal effectively with a wide range of mental and emotional issues that they may face in their lives.

We can all agree, based on our own day-to-day life experiences, that life is a journey. It is less important where we come from and more important where we go. If this is the case, how can we make this voyage worthwhile and fruitful? The solution is that we must recognise the purpose and value of our life journey. On this journey, life can at times get a bit complicated, but you must firmly believe that you are the sailor, and only you can navigate the turbulent waters of life. We must accept that problems exist everywhere and are an unavoidable part of life. They are sometimes good too, because they expose us to new perspectives and opportunities, provided you are willing to tune your antenna to look at them and work upon them sincerely. When you are faced with life-intimidating situations, do not surrender to frustration or fear and fall into the trap of easy solutions such as alcoholism, smoking, and so on, which may seemingly provide instant relief. Instead, consider an alternate path after weighing the positive and negative sides of each issue. Concentrate on the positive, look on the bright side of things, and press ahead with your journey.

When you are despondent, saddened, or high and dry, when life doesn’t run as smoothly as you wish, when undesirable or self-destructive feelings or thoughts begin to regulate your life, when your passion and convictions are influenced by erroneous values and contradictory principles, when you are tempted to smoke, become drug-dependent, or alcoholic to handle pressures of life, when you hooked on to online activities that denigrate your moral life, when your personal and relationship issues interfere with your job and family, and when you struggle to have a siesta due to life burdens and bayonetting thoughts, thumb through this book, apply the strategies given to your specific problems and defeat them. It is quintessential that you detoxify your issues by cleansing, nourishing, and resting your body and mind. Move away from celestial dreams and utopian worlds that prevent us from seeing the beauty and riches of human life.

The first part of this book focuses on topics such as genuine relationships, the true meaning of love and understanding of infatuation, healthy and meaningful sexuality, preparation for marriage and family life and parenting. The second section addresses issues such as pre-marital sex, abortion, depression, stress, and addictions such as alcohol, smoking, drugs, pornography, and the internet. All concepts discussed here are explained in detail and I have tried my best to weave the reflections with numerous real-life examples, short stories, incidents, and well-known quotes using various resources which are duly acknowledged at the end. The concepts are examined solely through the eyes of a layperson, rather than through sociological and scientific lenses.

I am not claiming to provide simple solutions to complex problems, but I do want to create a very hopeful and intriguing book that will stimulate and elevate your mindset. Leading a happy life necessitates far more than the ability to complete a routine task and it demands the indispensable wisdom to enable us to respond judiciously to life’s numerous, unpredictable challenges and never be overpowered by them.

Preparation is the key. It is essential before embarking on any activity, large or small, especially if it is related to major decisions in life. Preparation is the readiness or willingness to accept a challenge. We need to remember that growth occurs only when we accept challenges thrown at us with courage. Challenges energise you and make life more interesting. The true understanding of life and its intricacies, as well as genuine preparation and prudent choices, will undoubtedly prevent many unnecessary and unpleasant events from happening in life or interfering with a happy life. Do not create or jump into problems. If by chance, it happens, know the solutions and be ready mentally and physically to overcome them. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Life is a roller coaster, so let us ride it and come out with the satisfaction that we did everything we could to make it worthwhile.

Finally, it is my sincere hope that this labour of love will enlighten and inspire many people, particularly the young, to gain a better understanding and appreciation for life and that it will invite and encourage people to live a worthwhile and meaningful life.